I LOVE HER. This is me in my car.

Greg Dulli said this in an interview. It was so true that it made me cry.

"Movies and television and books and poetry and photographs and art and everyday conversations are all part of the nest that I build—not to go out on the metaphorical superhighway. When I was growing up there were some birds that lived in my yard, and I remember watching them build a nest, and it took a long time. You don’t totally build a nest in a day, you know what I mean?

I would climb up and look in the nest when the momma bird was gone to see if there were eggs in it yet. And there was straw and pieces of broom and string and yarn and paper and all kinds of things that went into that nest, and I think it kind of dawned on me then that that was how you made something that would hold you. And I think I kind of learned patience back then too—not that I employed it until much, much later in my life."

The line, "(...) that was how you made something that would hold you," struck me as perfect. And I love the idea of building my nest to hold myself. I've been building it for years, but I think I lost sight of that recently. My nest wasn't destroy; it's still here, holding me. It always has been.

I am spending next weekend in Pittsburgh. My grandmother is dog-sitting Ferguson for me so I don't have to worry about leaving him in the hotel room. I'm taking next Friday off, so I'm driving up early that morning. I have a list of things I want to do that include visiting the Aviary, Phipps Conservatory, The Mattress Factory (which is an art gallery), and the Allegheny Cemetery. I think I can get all that done on Friday. If I have time on Friday, I'd also like to poke around the shops at the Strip area. My hotel reservations are at the Residence Inn near the airport. I tried a couple local places downtown, but they were booked due to a commencement ceremony at the university. The Residence Inn is a Marriott hotel with great reviews online, so I'm not concerned. Plus, my suite has a living room, bedroom, and full kitchen. Eric is working Friday, which I knew would be the case. I actually wanted Friday to myself so I can do what I want without someone else to consider. He's taking Saturday and Sunday off. The Twilight Singers concert is on Saturday night, so he's spending Saturday with me. And we'll probably hang out on Sunday morning/afternoon as well. He's promised to show me around Pittsburgh. Having a local tour guide sure beats searching for everything on the internet.

I've taken to spending the end of each evening in bed, listening to a good album from beginning to end. And on nights that I slither into the bedroom early, I listen to a double CD. Last night it was the Legacy edition of Jeff Buckley's Grace. "Forget Her" just slays me.



It reminds me how tragic it is that Jeff Buckley is gone. He was filled with duende and we have a serious lack of that in the music industry right now.

If anyone is on Twitter, you can find me through my e-mail: amanda.gail1981@gmail.com

I figured I'd try it out for a month and see if I like it.

Patton Oswalt released a book recently called Zombie Spaceship Wasteland. It is a collection of essays, and the title of the book is taken from the one I'm going to post below. I'm a Wasteland. What are you?

( i know there have been a thousand parsing of the pop subculture... )

The Twilight Singers released a new album last week. I pre-ordered it and received a bonus CD with two additional tracks. It was waiting on my doorstep when I got home from work on Wednesday. I walked in and popped the bonus CD in before I even took my coat off.

And then I sat down and cried while it played because it's perfect. There are so many songs that I can attached significance to in regards to my relationship with Jason. And this is the song that is the final end to that relationship. It's how I feel and how I'll probably always feel about what happened and the things that were said.



For those of you who are music fans--it's a cover of a song by Desire. You can hear the original here. Greg Dulli, the genius that he is, heard the sadness in the lyrics and did what he does so well--he interpreted it to express that side of things.

6:15 AM is early.

Despite this fact, I've decided to begin getting up at 6:15 (actually 6:00, but I hit the snooze button) to work out and shower before work. Typically, I do both these things after work, but sometimes I get lazy and decide to sit on the couch. Which is bad. Because I've gained back the ten pounds I lost before November last year.

My new face wash/lotion came. This is my first week using it. I'm terrified my skin is going to dry up and break out.

Weeds is a great show. I've successfully wasted two Sundays watching it on Netflix.

EDIT:

Speaking of the damned ten pounds I lost and then gained back. I want to lose them and ten more. Maybe a ticker will motivate me. Please ridicule me if my little ticker does not move toward the goal by this time next month. I need to be held accountable.

Someone told me I need to read Battlefield Earth, but none of the bookstores around here have it. Is it out of print? I also looked for Zombie Spaceship Wasteland by Patton Oswalt, but couldn't find it either. I'm wasting away in a literary black hole. All we have here are Paula Dean cookbooks.

I was listening to Greg Dulli a couple nights ago and heard the most wonderful love song ever written. If I ever get married and have a traditional post-ceremony dance, then I want to dance to this song.

I wanted to see updates from my most favorite of bands, and the easiest way to do so was to sign up on Facebook again. I'm avoiding my mother and her extensive family on the site, so I'm trying to be careful about who I friend. This means I have no friends and am lonely.

If you have a Facebook, you should friend me. My e-mail address is: amanda.gail1981@gmail.com

I'm not sure if anyone on my blog is familiar with the Green brothers, John and Hank. They have a vlog on YouTube which they update several times a week. The most recent vlog is about Google's autocomplete function.